Skip to main content

So Hum or Bust

After years of pushing, going bigger, growing and stretching I knew it was time to return to my true self. To reconnect with who I am outside of being a coach, and athlete, a boss, a wife, a mother. I'm tired. My body is inflamed. It's hard to rest and let the machine of a life I have created turn off in my head. But that's because I love what I do. It doesn't feel bad or wrong or negative to show up each day and change lives for the better. To accomplish a new big fitness endeavor. To make time for my kids, even at the end of a long day. I love my life, but positive stress is still stress and it was beginning to take its tole. I try and relax, but with so much responsibility it's really hard.

So I started with baby steps. Whole food plant based diet beginning of June. How refreshing! After watching the documentary Heal on Netflix as recommended by a friend, I was re-connected with the body's amazing ability to heal itself with the right environment. Namely, healthy food, gentle exercise, restful recovery and drastically reduced stress. After only a few days my eczema was clearing up, I lost a few pounds and I felt generally better all around. I quit drinking coffee cold turkey after having been up to a couple cups per day, and started training for Portland Marathon, my favorite race.

June 12th, in the spirit of nurturing relationships and healthy eating, I was headed home for a quick lunch with Jeff. A split decision after his gracious offer to make it for me instead of my running to grab something out. Sitting at the Hina Lani light two miles from home, I was proud of myself for taking time in the middle of the day to spend time with the man I love. Who has been neglected for years but has never complained, for the sake of me pursuing my dreams and great ideas. Things are going to be different. I am going to make time for him. The light turned green, my foot was transitioning from brake to gas, and suddenly I was being propelled forward. My head hit the headrest and I slammed on my breaks in order to avoid running into the car ahead of me. As everyone pulled forward to proceed through the intersection, I looked around and realized what had just happened.

At first I didn't know what to do. I was in the left turn lane. Left side, right side? Right side. The car that had just rear ended me made its way to the shoulder too, and I called 911 before getting out of my car. Sore neck, sore back, shaken up but ok.

The 20 minute wait for the police officer to arrive was scary and unbelievable. Apparently the driver was meeting a 3rd party right there on the shoulder to sell him her car. "This was supposed to be my test drive" he said. A super shady character with a whale's tale of why they happened to be meeting right there. At one point I called the police back because they were taking so long and he was really making me nervous. They shared a cigarette together, her frantically searching for a missing insurance card. She found it, I snapped a picture, took pictures of the cars and waited. Eventually she gave him her keys and walked down the street, ditching in the bushes without a word. A smoking van pulled to the shoulder overheating, and two women got out with their Costco frozen yogurt and popped the hood. A circus. The officer arrived moments after, joining our caravan and she first responded to the smoking car. Next to me, where we confirmed the identity of the woman who hit me. Her name and mug shot in the police system matched the name of the insurance card I had taken a photo of. The officer asked if I could drive my car home. I pulled the wheel well away from the tire and told her I would try. She gave me my case number and headed off to hunt the other girl down.

Dazed, I got in my smashed up Subaru and drove home. I had to cut down through the neighborhood because the frame ended up rubbing on the tire again. The car drove straight, but the steering wheel was at a 45 degree angle.

The next day I drove the car down to the auto body shop, where I learned it was a complete loss. Not that it could be fixed, but that it wasn't worth fixing and deemed it salvage. Later that night I started getting headaches and couldn't focus. My neck hurt so badly I couldn't lay it down on the pillow, no matter how I turned and fluffed. I knew I should go to the ER but I was so tired and the boys were asleep. Stupid. But I wasn't rational anyway. The next morning I called the Kaiser advice nurse to see if I should wait until my appointment later that day to get checked out since my headache wasn't subsiding. After describing my symptoms he sent me straight to the ER for CT scans and a full work up "Get there within 2 hours. Do not pass go, Do not collect $200". They ruled out a cervical fracture, and sent me to my later doctor appointment. The doctor sent me straight to the radiology center for another CT scan of my brain for the possibility of a concussion. Ding Ding Ding!! No wonder I didn't know my social or address the previous day filling out the insurance claim.

The next two weeks were interesting. I had no back chatter in my brain. No inspiration to create. I only was aware of the immediate interactions I had and could not focus. If I looked at the computer or tried to work I would get an immediate headache. (Hence my social media absence.) But honestly I didn't really think about work much anyway. I had to take naps at noon and couldn't get the motivation to go back to work. My team held everything up while I recovered. I could drive, but was so so so careful, and only went from work to home and back. We shuffled cars, got rides and made it work, but it was rough.

During this time the boys had their first Cub Scout resident camp. It was the best place to be. No stress, no tech, only fun. Jeff drove us out to camp and the boys and I enjoyed two nights and three days in the most peaceful place to me on this island, Camp Honokaia. I feel most at home in the forest and we went on gentle hikes, ate whole foods in our campsite and worked together with our Pack to make wonderful memories as a team. The other parents and leaders helped me out, and Jason and Evan were so good. It reminded me of who I am and what I love most.

Just after camp, Jeff and Jason set off for an adventure in Oregon for two weeks while Evan and I held down the fort. With a tremendous amount of help from my in-laws, the team at the gym, and the members we did the best we could at keeping up with life.

As I came out of the concussion the stress slowly built as I realized everything I had neglected in my dazed post accident condition. It brought to light decisions that I had to make for the health of my business, myself and my family. I finally had clarity on the structure of Trunk Trainers, and decided to consolidate the facility and focus on what works best: group training, personal training and specialty programs that are truly transformational. To return to my original business plan from 5 years ago, before having Evan. I had clarity on how I need to lead my team, starting from the vary beginning by inspiring and walking the talk. I had clarity on relationships and the choices I need to make to nurture those that are important and a blessing, and cut ties with toxic ones. I found strength to stand up for myself. To forgive myself for mistakes made over the years, and acknowledge that every decision that turns out to be fruitless is also a blessing because you know at least you tried. To be gentle on my body. One X Ray on my low back and hips showed very mild beginnings of degeneration in my SI joints. No more marathons. (My Swim-Bike-Mom and Honolulu Marathon stickers were literally smashed in the accident. Coincidence?) More yoga. (https://chopra.com/articles/cultivate-present-moment-awareness-with-the-so-hum-meditation) More walks and hikes. More snorkeling. Exercise in nature, with those I love. Awesome adventures like meditating with elephants and hiking Machu Pichu. No junk food, unless it's really really worth it 😉. No sugar-coating the truth and no taking crap as to keep the status quo. Aiming for self-improvement, always.








In giving myself permission to follow the path that seems right to me, I am looking forward to the future. I envision walks in the woods. Cooking with my boys. Spending time with family. Tending my garden. Reading! And leading and inspiring any person who feels like they have more potential within them, but just need a coach and a plan to max out this life and TRULY LIVE. To hold them accountable until they build the good habits and break those no longer serving them. Do you need this kind of coach? E-mail me at Kelsie@TrunkTrainers.com if what we do is what you're looking for, or go out and find a coach that can get you where you want to go.



For such a seemingly small incident so much has changed in 4 weeks. I feel renewed. I am me, but with a new identity. I feel transformed. My family is closer. The team is closer. Everyone is stoked to have a plan and be moving forward. I was even able to manifest my dream car as a replacement for the ever reliable Subaru.  I can't believe it. Basically a direct trade from Subaru to Pilot after insurance settlements, car dealerships and negotiations. It was almost easy in the end. Like it was meant to be. What I know for sure, is we're all in this together. Without accepting help there's no way I would have gotten through this event. Without giving help to those who need it in the future, I wouldn't be me. Here's to the work yet to be done, and to embracing the now. Aloha!

Comments

  1. Love you - I wish you much healing success on your new journey I’m trying as well to leave behind stress and find a balance - not easy sometimes:-)❤️

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Volcano Ohia Lehua 5k Race Report

A little rain wasn't going to stop us! The Volcano Ohia Lehua 5k and Half Marathon weekend was a smashing success. Jason did an amazing job, and it was so much fun to be out amongst so many runners ready to have a great time. The gratitude to be there was palpable, and despite the drizzle, everyone finished with huge smiles on their faces. We stayed at the Namakanipaio Campground in cabins which included a twin bunk bed, full size bed, complete with linens and a shower facility at the site. It was rustic and perfect, with a hiking trail leading to the volcano rim. We took the short hike over on Friday after arriving and had fun playing in the wind and kicking back before an early bedtime. Race morning we were preparing to head to the start when our neighboring camper accidentally set his rental car alarm off. It caught our attention since it was 6:30am and as we all giggled about it waking up camp, I noticed he had on the same race shirt Jason and I had as well. Since Evan was stil...

Sunday Report 8/11/24

What a productive week! In Hawaii, kids go back to school in August. Not only did we make it through the orientation week, but we also had the opportunity to walk through our new school campus, which has been 4 years in the making. My boys attend Hawaii Technology Academy, a blended learning public charter school that involves at home work with teachers online and in person days, as well as out of classroom learning in the community. We love the school and were so happy to be able to attend the school blessing this past Saturday. But a new schedule had me executing a crazy running week. I got all of my workouts in, including a Tempo day on Tuesday, a Hills and Drills Day on Friday and my 2 hour long and slow Saturday. I had done an hour walk Thursday as well, which put me in a coast to coast challenge scenario with three days in a row on my feet. My Saturday 2 hours was just a walk, partially because of this and because it felt right. I'll get back on the running Tuesday. My watch ...

Moving Mountains with Mountain Movers

I love to go big or go home. But to be honest, my thirst for crazy fitness adventures has made way for a new kind of burning desire. Two things are on the forefront of my mind.  First, my personal training business Trunk Trainers is humming along smoothly, with Coach Caili and myself helping an almost full schedule of clients stick with their exercise routines. We’ve created the Treehouse, our online fitness community, to support our clients with online courses, challenges, resources and accountability. And have helped 13 fitness enthusiasts become NASM Certified Personal Trainers so far. We’re inspiring world fitness for sure! But I still feel like there’s one more area I’d like to pursue. Second, my baby boys are now 9 and 12. They’re going into 4th and 7th grade! And I feel like my husband and my presence in their lives right now are super important. We are definitely in the throes of tweendom and days go more smoothly when there’s time and attention for all the necessities plus...